Page 1 of 6

Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 16:44
by Ice.Maiden
There's so much talk about single parents being this and that, but how about a cheer for the good ones. Do you know any?

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 16:55
by pinky
Funny you know I don't have any friends who are single parents!! Of course I know lots from work but thats because they have come to our attention as they arent coping. I am sure there are good ones out there all the same.

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 17:00
by Ice.Maiden
I DID know some, but they've now got married. I think it must be a hard job when you're on your own, although a relative of mine was left with 4 youngsters under 5 when her husband died suddenly. She deserved a medal, because despite the tragic circumstances, she managed to look after her family and study to become a health visitor - which she still is.

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 17:08
by pinky
i would say it is very hard for the parent caring for the child/ren where thay have to be mammy and daddy. All the money woriies etc and they would not have the support of a partner. Still there are those who so a tremendous job. I always think it must be harder on the child/ren especially if their parents don't get along

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 17:17
by Ice.Maiden
Yes. Luckily, in the divorce cases I know of, the parents've tried to remain to civil to each other for the very sake of their children.

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 17:20
by pinky
thing is children always sense the atmosphere and often blame themselves. It is so hard to remain civil to someone who has hurt you all of the time despite their best efforts

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 17:23
by Ice.Maiden
I'm sure it must be, but time mellows, surely? If you harbour grudges for the rest of your life, it WILL affect people, children included.

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 17:29
by rabbitygirl
Hi Icey and Pinky. I praised my sister as being a good single parent to her 3 kids after her divorce. Our parents had temporarily disowned her. Many years later we fell out but not before she told me I was no support to her at the time and sided with our parents. Thanks very much. I thought she did a great job, and said so at the time.
My friend is a single parent and although he is not a child anymore she had her hands full with him and he clearly suffered for not having his Dad around. Dad has no contact because the son was so angry about his absence that he wrote and said he no longer had a Dad. My Mum says children are always emotionally damaged when parents divorce. One of my nephews has agreed completely.

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 17:33
by pinky
hi rabs yes I agree i do think that children do get hurt unintentionally and in spite of the best efforts of parents. Reality is parents own emotions will be very deep and the children will pick up on this. Besides they will also have picked up on the tensions at home way before the divorce itself

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 17:34
by Toula
Some very good observations by both of you on the subject.

Yes, I know a few women, who are professionals, and wanted a child but not a husband along with the deal. They work very hard at their jobs, one is a Lawyer, two are teachers and another woman is a Consultant in IT. Each one of them give their kids the best they can, and are great mothers. I know two of them felt that they had to have a child of their own so as to pass on what they had made in their life, so for them it most definitely was a conscience decision, - I never asked details about the sperm donor so to speak - so don't ask me about that end please!.

No matter the reasons, no matter the circumstances, I think one must applaud any single woman who strives to bring up a kid on their own - hard enough I guess when there are two parents on-board!

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 17:37
by Ice.Maiden
Hello there rabbity. How very sad. There must be many similar cases, but although I'm not a great believer in divorce, it happens. The atmosphere between two warring parents can have a terrible effect on children, just as an absent parent can. I think those who're left to raise a family on their own, and cope, deserve a medal. It's often hard enough when TWO parents are there, let alone just one.
My relative lost her husband when he was only 39. She had twins of 2, and the other children were 3 and almost 5. how she coped was amazing, even though it's a different issue from having a partner who leaves you, or having none from the start.

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 17:39
by Ice.Maiden
Oh - and evening Toula.

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 17:40
by pilvikki

my both sets of grandparents divorced and remarried and my parents should have. i've been divorced twice [slow learner]. it's tough on kids and although they all were married once, i now have 3 daughters raising their kids without a spouse. must run in the family...

oops, no, the youngest one wasn't and never plans to either.

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 17:42
by pinky
evening toula. I think whatever the circumstances children need both their parents,

hi Vikki at least they also have your support though

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 17:43
by Ice.Maiden
Hi Vikki. I love to hear the GOOD stories when folk've maybe had a rough time of it. Sounds as though you've coped very well hun.

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 17:46
by pilvikki

squeaky was ruminating on the fact that aiden's mom and dad have 2 kids and dale and doug have 2 kids and you and mommie have 2 kids, too!

:lmaof3:

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 17:50
by pinky
aww how sweet

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 17:51
by Ice.Maiden
Oh bless her!!!!!!

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 18:01
by rabbitygirl
Call me old fashioned, but I've been married for 36 years, have 2 sons and feel uneasy about single women having babies because their clocks are ticking etc.. Whatever the circumstances, 2 parents are better than one. My crazy Polish friend struggled with her baby, homeless, trying to keep a job, and winning the heart of baby's Dad at the same time (with support from me and my hubby). It was a great trial for her. Now they are together, and have a new baby and the difference in all is amazing.

Re: Single parents.

PostPosted: 12 May 2010, 18:08
by Ice.Maiden
It can be, and that's a heart-warming tale. I personally'd hate to be a single parent, but some DO do it by choice, and if they manage to rear a happy and responsible child, then fair dues to them.
Must admit, we'll expect ours to marry one day if they plan on having children - which I hope they do - but whatever makes them happy'll be alright by us.