Single parents.

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Re: Single parents.

Postby Toula » 12 May 2010, 18:40

I know this isn't quite the same, but we had my 8 year old God Son out for the day on Saturday as a birthday treat for him. When we got home, his Mum was in an awful state, a two friend of theirs were out bye the Bay fishing, anyway the boat tipped over and one lad made it back to shore, the other, my Nieces friend is still missing. Anyway, he and his partner wear raising his son from a previous marriage, and they have a baby daughter of their own. Sad part is, they were getting married this week!

Now that poor girl has to live with the loss of her partner and do her best to carry on rearing the kids
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Re: Single parents.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 12 May 2010, 18:45

Gosh Toula, that's terrible! Was your niece's friend found???
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Re: Single parents.

Postby Toula » 12 May 2010, 18:52

Not yet, they were still searching last night, but never noticed any activity out in the bay this evening. I as far as I know, him and the friend were out collected mussels to sell so he could get a few extra bob in for their wedding this week. I only knew him to see, but God love him, seems he never had his sorrows to seek, and life was only now starting to look up for him, with his new wee family. Really heart-breaking.
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Re: Single parents.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 12 May 2010, 19:03

Blimey, it's just awful Toula. Hope there's some GOOD news, because I'm sure someone would've announced something in your local newspaper if someone'd gone missing or not been found. : (
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Re: Single parents.

Postby Toula » 12 May 2010, 19:39

Yes, it's being on the Local BBC News and also all the Radio Stations that he has not been found, just today / tonight they never actually expressed if the Search was being continued. Think it's a foregone conclusion now. Last year, or the year before, 3 generations in the one family all perished in a fishing boat accident from Kilkeel, Co Down. One of the bodies was found the next day, and another two over the next week or so, but the others still have never been found.

I know this is going off topic, but do you know the history, as such, of the Aran Jumpers? Well basically, each family had their own individual style of knit or weave, pattern. That was because, as the waters round that part of Ireland are so unpredictable, and so many fishermen got lost at sea, even if it was years later when their remains were washed up, then the family could identify them from their Aran Jumpers, as that particular type of wool never disintegrated, corroded - if that's a correct term for it? but as it never fell apart - so to speak, then by the pattern they knew who it was.
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Re: Single parents.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 12 May 2010, 19:47

Oh god no, I never knew that. That's one hell of a good way to identify someone, but how sad indeed that it had or has to be done. I'm very sorry to hear about this young man. Tragic.
I have a friend in Cornwall who says that if a fishing boat is late in, or there's anyone missing, the whole community stays up waiting for news. They also hold regular services for those lost at sea, and fundraise for the families left behind.
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Re: Single parents.

Postby pilvikki » 12 May 2010, 21:00


i'm so sorry... :vrysad:
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Re: Single parents.

Postby Toula » 12 May 2010, 21:18

Oh God, I feel awful that I've not only diverted from Our Icey's thread but brought it from Birth to Death!

But then on reflection, and reading through it all again, sure isn't that was Life is all about?

When you think about it, how many women have been left as single parents through John Dorey? Then, also in this day and age, through Wars not only in Iraq, but other parts of the Globe? Many Men have been left Single Parents because their wife's have died in conflict. So it is not a one sided coin when it comes down to it.

So the 'Circle' really does open up in this thread - Single Parents! It is wider than ones initial thought on the Subjects Topic.
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Re: Single parents.

Postby pilvikki » 12 May 2010, 21:29


true enough!

i myself never understood the power of the sea, hey, it's just water! - until i felt its tug on my legs and just got out of there in time. a very poignant lesson, even though i don't actually remember where it happened, i do remember the feeling. strange.
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Re: Single parents.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 13 May 2010, 07:07

Toula hun - do you think I'm going to moan because of going off topic? In this instance especially, it doesn't matter a jot. xx
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Re: Single parents.

Postby pinky » 13 May 2010, 16:32

that is so sad Toula sometimes I wonder do we always appreciate what we have when we have it
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Re: Single parents.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 13 May 2010, 17:21

Well I know I try to hun. We've had plenty of tragedies in our family over time, and it makes me appreciate what a good family I've got.
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Re: Single parents.

Postby pinky » 13 May 2010, 17:40

yes me too hun I guess I do feel very lucky
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Re: Single parents.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 13 May 2010, 18:15

True, yes.
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Re: Single parents.

Postby pinky » 14 May 2010, 13:59

indeed
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Re: Single parents.

Postby Silke » 25 May 2010, 09:14

My mother. Best single mother ever. At 20 she had two kids, school, job and a social life. How it helped that her social life was with other single mothers in more or less the same situation...

I don't think two are always better than one. Two - if they are destructive against each other is destructive against the children. Not acceptable.
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Re: Single parents.

Postby pinky » 25 May 2010, 09:51

good for her silke
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Re: Single parents.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 27 May 2010, 11:54

Lovely when you hear stories like that Silke. There are some single mums who make a brilliant job of raising their children, and some married ones who haven't got a clue.
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Re: Single parents.

Postby threenorns » 27 May 2010, 14:44

yep - definitely, a harmonious single-parent household is MILES away better than a two-parent household filled with strife and tension because, no matter what, the kids get it in the teeth. maybe not directly, but definitely indirectly.

that's why i left saari's father - i could see the way it was going.

she has a loving relationship with him which i will absolutely not interfere with, even though i personally would (at the moment) love to see him covered with honey and staked out on an anthill.

smack in the middle of bear country.
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Re: Single parents.

Postby Silke » 28 May 2010, 04:49

Just don't tell Saari that ;)

Problem with parents who start throwing shit at each other in front of the children is that they force the children to choose between them. That is unfair on so many levels it isn't even funny to think about. They might not mean to but the kids are in no position to tell their parents to #@$% off and the result? more strife as the kids try to support their parents best they can - perhaps even switching who to support every other day and so the parents get jealous of each other because of something they started!

It infuriates me that grown ups can't act the part once their private life turns a tad more than bumpy. Speaking with people one would think everyone understood such things???
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