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My brother, Simon, is an assh**e!

PostPosted: 08 May 2010, 17:27
by MWB
He's always been an extreme controller.

He has a daughter, Fiona, who's 22 now. His wife, Andrea, left him when Fiona was about 2, taking Fiona with her. She'd had enough of his "my way is the best & only way" crap. Never mind that all us normal people do things differently & get the same result.

She had to hang washing out on the line in a certain way - his way (undies included), folded & put away the same. She wasn't allowed to plant anything in the garden as her plant choice & positioning of it was wrong. She was nagged about everything she did that wasn't his way - you get the gist.

Anyway, they had joint custody of Fiona, but Simon made Andrea's (& by default, Fiona's) life hell & Andrea couldn't cope with it anymore so gave full custody to Simon.

He wasn't expecting this, but of course blamed Andrea for abandoning Fiona & being a bad mother. She wasn't & isn't, & I understood why she relinquished custody - it was extremely hard for her to do it but she did it for Fionas sake.

Simon was relentless in his controlling of Fiona. Not one toy was ever allowed out of her bedroom, which always had to be neat & tidy. I visited as much as I could & played with Fiona to give her some respite. We'd build a cool playhouse with a sheet in her bedroom, or make something with lego, or do a jigsaw puzzle. ALL had to be packed away straight after (not that he was happy about the untidiness in the first instance)- even the jigsaw unfinished.

He bought her an electric can opener for Xmas when she was 9!

Upshot - when she reached 15, she & Andrea one day when he was at work, packed what Fiona wanted & she went to live with her. Yay! Simon took this as a betrayal. Fiona was a traitor. He's never spoken to her since.

Fiona was so happy to have some freedom & be able to think for herself & do some things her way. She did go rather overboard - who can blame her, really? We lost touch until she reached 19. In that time she'd married Michael. None of us knew of the wedding & Fiona was sorry for that. But she said she'd reached the point where she felt she'd like to get in touch with Simon, so she rang him. When he answered Fiona said, "Hi Dad, it's Fiona". He replied, "Who?" She said, "Your daughter." He then said he was busy & couldn't talk then hung up. This was all on speaker phone.

Since this, Fiona's separated & living with some chap called Ben & is 8 months happily pregnant. Simon's been informed of this & is still isn't having anything to do with her!

Unbelievable, eh?

Re: My brother, Simon, is an assh**e!

PostPosted: 09 May 2010, 07:30
by pinky
yes indeed well his loss hey . I hope you and your family get to have time with her though. I love having auntys and one I am very close toi

Re: My brother, Simon, is an assh**e!

PostPosted: 13 May 2010, 18:38
by Ice.Maiden
I also hope it all works out Claire. We don't know the full story, but I wouldnt've thought that giving your brother full custody of his daughter was the best of moves if he's been so controlling, and not to want to know her now that she's an adult could have emotional repercussions on the poor woman, making her unable to trust men or to believe in them.

I hope she's found the partner she can be happy with, and that her own child has a good life. With a few good family members to back Fiona up, I'm sure that things'll take a turn for the better. x

Re: My brother, Simon, is an assh**e!

PostPosted: 14 May 2010, 14:00
by pinky
do keep us updated to let us know she is ok

Re: My brother, Simon, is an assh**e!

PostPosted: 19 May 2010, 08:22
by Ice.Maiden
Yes, hope so.