siblings

Topics related to family life.

siblings

Postby thelonederanger » 28 Mar 2010, 01:10

My sister has battled for years with various addictions, she lives with my parents and they think she is clean, they have just been away for a week, the first time for a long time and it was a big thing to leave her (she lives with them), I know that she has slipped while they were away, she told me, she didn't have to but she did (it was obvious anyway).

Should I tell them?, do I trust her when she tells me that this was just a slip up and she is okay or do I go with my gut and tell my parents that she is not as strong as they think she is, I love my sister but I am torn between whether she needs a break or my parents need the truth.

what would you do?
thanks
User avatar
thelonederanger
 

Re: siblings

Postby Yogi » 28 Mar 2010, 07:05

You know your sister much better than any of us, and there is little doubt that you love her dearly. Try not to allow your sibling relationship to taint your judgment. I understand how difficult it may be for you to make an objective assessment, and the best advice I can give you is to do what is in her best interests. Her "slipping" means that she has once again allowed her addiction to take control of her life. She may not be unable to take control back on her own.

The bottom line here is that somebody will be hurt no matter what you do. You will have regrets (and be hurt) if you fail to do anything at all and she loses all control altogether. Difficult as it may be, feelings must be put aside here. Do what you know is right and the best thing for your sister.
User avatar
Yogi
Oracle Class Poster
Oracle Class Poster
 
Posts: 7013
Joined: 04 Aug 2007, 19:37
Location: Chicagoland

Re: siblings

Postby forumadmin » 28 Mar 2010, 07:08

Please accept my apologies. The original reply by WonderWoman was inadvertently deleted. The following is what she posted:

WonderWoman wrote:its a tricky one. on the one hand your parents need to know and on the other you will feel ynu are breaking your sisters trust. How do you think parents will react is it feasible they might ask her to leave? Id get them all together to try resolving the situatio.n. Im sure you might also benefit from talking to a teacher or friend so as to help you too.
User avatar
forumadmin
Site Admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 433
Joined: 04 Aug 2007, 13:18
Location: Center of the Universe

Re: siblings

Postby pinky » 28 Mar 2010, 15:55

indeed it is a tricky one. Sadly the truth is people with addictions can be very good at covering up their continued usage. Perhaps you could ask her to go to a dr to get a test(blood or urine) to see if she is still using, that way you may have peace of mind. If she refuses to go I would be concerned. The best thing is to encourage her to tell your parents. The best way to tackle addictions is not to get involved in secrecy with the person who is addicted. I wish you luck whatever you decide.
User avatar
pinky
 

Re: siblings

Postby MWB » 29 Mar 2010, 00:08

I agree with Yogi in saying someone is going to get hurt whatever you do, or don't do.

Myself? I'd tell my sister that I was going to tell my parents. Why? Because my parents would need, want & have the right to know. Not in a telling tales or gossipy way - just informing them of the fact so they'd be able to deal with the situation immediately in the way they see fit. My sister would just have to accept this. After all, she was the one who had "done the wrong thing" as it were.

This is a no win situation, thelonedranger. Good luck to you & all your family.
User avatar
MWB
KIWI Correspondent
KIWI Correspondent
 
Posts: 2125
Joined: 14 Aug 2009, 19:39
Location: West Coast, New Zealand

Re: siblings

Postby thelonederanger » 29 Mar 2010, 06:29

thanks eveyone for your help. I have encouraged her to tell my parents and told her that I will not lie for her, if I am asked ( and I know I will be) I will be truthful.

thanks again.
User avatar
thelonederanger
 

Re: siblings

Postby Silke » 17 Apr 2010, 07:54

I think your choice is the right one. The best for everyone is if she tells herself - not only because of trust and truth but because it means she takes a mental step towards fighting this thing with help. Reasure her you will suport her.
User avatar
Silke
Brainiac Class Poster
Brainiac Class Poster
 
Posts: 2291
Joined: 07 Aug 2007, 04:41
Location: ??? guess I need to find out...

Re: siblings

Postby pilvikki » 17 Apr 2010, 12:28


so, let's hear how it went...
User avatar
pilvikki
Royal Poobah Penguin
Royal Poobah Penguin
 
Posts: 40729
Joined: 07 Aug 2007, 23:32
Location: france


Return to Family Relations

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron