Pushy Grandparents

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Pushy Grandparents

Postby Sandra » 10 Apr 2009, 02:52

Are you a pushy Grandparent? When you have your Grand kids do you do as you please with them or do their parents set the rules and you follow them?

My little sisters in-laws have just booked my nearly 13 year old niece a flying lesson for her birthday WITHOUT asking their permission. They are forever doing things like this. On this occasion my sis is fuming with them! She doesn't want her daughter going on this lesson and it's causing an argument. They think she is being unreasonable! I think they should of asked first. :think:
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Re: Pushy Grandparents

Postby mamie » 10 Apr 2009, 05:46

I think there are limits which should be set by the parents when such things are considered.

If the question is "can I watch TV now"? or "may I take your dog for a walk"?, as a grandparent, I'd use my own discretion. But FLYING LESSONS! No, no, no - that's a matter for the parents alone.
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Re: Pushy Grandparents

Postby petunia princess » 10 Apr 2009, 17:41

Definitely pushy. Actually, it's as if they're seeing how much they can get away with. Time for her mom to put her foot down and tell them they've gone too far.
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Re: Pushy Grandparents

Postby pilvikki » 11 Apr 2009, 00:27


    what are they trying to do, compete with the parents?

    that's just idiotic and puts the kid in a bad spot!

    twits.
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    Re: Pushy Grandparents

    Postby Linda » 18 Apr 2009, 18:21

    When Murryn and Stuart are here, they are under our rules...the same rules that their Dad and Auntie grew up with. Sure I buy them things, but if they are anything more than dollar store toys or such I talk to Scott and Dawn first, even about birthday and other gifts.

    I really think that in your case Sandra, the in-laws should have asked first. Isn't 13 a little young for flying lessons?
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    Re: Pushy Grandparents

    Postby Sandra » 21 Apr 2009, 08:58

    Linda wrote:Isn't 13 a little young for flying lessons?


    Well you'd think so wouldn't you Linda! :shock:

    Thanks for your responses, my sister has now told my niece she can't go and she was a bit upset but when Susan explained how it made her feel she understood and gave her a hug, although I think she was just putting on a brave face for her mum. Now she just has to tell the in-laws...I wished her good luck with that!! :whistle:
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    Re: Pushy Grandparents

    Postby brandtrn » 21 Apr 2009, 11:43

    Since I'm not yet a grandparent, it remains to be seen whether I'll be considered "pushy" or not. However, I'm in firm agreement with the other posters here -- I believe that the parents of a child should definitely have been consulted before such arrangements were made.
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    Re: Pushy Grandparents

    Postby pilvikki » 21 Apr 2009, 16:54


    that kind of decision is definitely in the "hands off" dept. but i many cases the grandparent knows more, feels more, and isn't as stressed as the parent.

    often it comes to something simple: saxon is screaming blue murder. he won't sleep, he doesn't want any more boob. he's been changed, but still not happy.

    "when did you last feed him?"

    "oh shit! what time is it?"
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    Re: Pushy Grandparents

    Postby Ice.Maiden » 15 Nov 2009, 02:51

    Well you can take flying lessons from the age of 12, but I think it's far too young. Even adults've had accidents, despite being with a qualified instructor, but to plan something of this magnitude without consulting the parents seems rather more a case of showing off than actually thinking about what a 12 year old'd really like.
    On the other hand, maybe the granbdparents saw it as a wonderful opportunity, and if they could afford it, then perhaps they saw it as something a bit different for the child.
    Nothing like that should be done without parental consent though, and in fact, in the UK, parental consent has to be given before a child can have these lessons. Unless the grandparents have parental rights over the child, then no flying school'd allow this to go ahead.
    I know - my husband flies.
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