empty nest syndrome...did you survive it?

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empty nest syndrome...did you survive it?

Postby peachy » 21 Feb 2008, 13:54

as you'll probably know (because i've got a gob like the mersey tunnel) my DD Cassie is shipping out and moving out of our humble home. both our kids have been long termers (not really wanting to ship out until circumstances forced them to) and as a result DH (or BH if you've read my last post lol) will *finally* be alone together! :o :

So i'm wondering if anyone else here has survived this period and gone on to have a better relationship with their partners or whether in fact they've realised that they have nowt in common with their partners and shipped out and moved off themselves!?

Cassie is a real live wire in my family unit and if i'm honest she really keeps us all ticking along, as DS was so quiet we didn't really notice him moving out (i don't mean he was dull, bless him, he just wasn't a life and soul person), i think they'll be a HUGE hole left when she goes. I don't want to be a mum who can't cut the apron strings, but on the other hand, i'm wondering what on earth i'll have in common with my DH when she goes!? Is that bad to think that or perfectly normal?

HELP!
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Re: empty nest syndrome...did you survive it?

Postby Flogo » 21 Feb 2008, 15:00

It has been many, many years since I faced that same situation.
I found it very difficult to adjust to there being just the two of us at home - but we did survive.
We did get the chance to travel a bit. Also, we had a small RV which we towed to various places, i.e., the beach, the mountains and where we found parks where we could leave the home away from home for months at a time and thus could easily 'visit' it on long weekends.
Luckily our family had lived in the same area for many, many years and we had a decent social life in our small hometown.
I'll wager you are feeling concerned mostly that you will be simply missing the third person in your home. Just take things one day at a time - you might be pleasantly surprised to find that life alone together is going to be full of much joy and discovery!
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Re: empty nest syndrome...did you survive it?

Postby pilvikki » 21 Feb 2008, 18:26

you obviously had something going before, so i'm pretty sure you'll have it again. you may have to look for it though and losing a vital part of the trio will unbalance the family dynamics for a while will feel pretty odd.

still, with or without DH, you'll get over it. now you can do pretty well whatever you want!
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Re: empty nest syndrome...did you survive it?

Postby peachy » 24 Feb 2008, 07:32

thanks for replies, there's some interesting viewpoints here. i guess half the problem is that DH and I have such different interests, i love walking and reading and cooking, he likes music (loud at that, he's *always* slating my clannad cd lol), pub going (which i've just grown bored of really) and photography, so i guess we're just gonna have to bite the bullet and find a hobby we both can do....that would be eating chocolate then! :lmao4:

I must admit i will miss Cassie very much, she has a lot more in common with me, and we often go walking together (we had a lovely day for instance yesterday getting windswept in the welsh countryside!) DS Pete is much more like my DH, out to clubs, pubs and i guess the only walking they get up to is going to photographic shoots :mrgreen: Maybe i should revamp my image a little and get him to take some *tasteful* :lmao4: photo's of me like back in the 'good old days' lol.

Thanks for listening to me yap on though, it felt great to get it all off my chest. I guess most of the reason i spend so much time on here is because i can 'leave reality' for a while...she says, that's laughable i spend more time moaning about real life on here! :roll: It's great getting to know other cyber pals and seeing if i'm the only one feeling this way or not. I love the forum and i'm really enjoying all the topics to trawl through...long may it continue! :clap:
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Re: empty nest syndrome...did you survive it?

Postby pilvikki » 24 Feb 2008, 10:29

ummm.... why don't to tell HD to grab his camera and you can both go walkabout, he's just hauling his camera around his neck.

love your post, kiddo! you really are a peach! :P

hubby and i had nothing in common either and it worked fine for a couple of decades, but then things started to go south. now he's filed under the first folder in my filing cabinet. and no.... his name doesn't start with an a!
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Re: empty nest syndrome...did you survive it?

Postby Silverado » 24 Feb 2008, 22:47

When my son & daughter went their seperate ways, I missed them terribly, especially the " Hi mom, I'm home!" and the home was so quiet! but, eventually, acceptance kicks in and you get used to it. hubby & I started a new life & became very independent, enjoying the fact that we could go whenever, wherever we wanted to. Flo is right.
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Re: empty nest syndrome...did you survive it?

Postby mahtilda » 24 Mar 2008, 16:16

If it gets too quiet you can phone my house :mrgreen: I have a little extra noise i can share
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Re: empty nest syndrome...did you survive it?

Postby pilvikki » 24 Mar 2008, 16:27

hey! we could start a business by cutting CD's with "family noise".

barking dogs are extra!
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Re: empty nest syndrome...did you survive it?

Postby ClaireDU » 24 Mar 2008, 16:32

I just had a thought.... Assuming that it is possible for you to do so financially, how about booking a holiday (just a few days, perhaps), buy yourself some new, sexy lingerie, and do whatever you feel necessary to enliven your "private" lives. I do not propose to suggest that this could be helped by watching a few "interesting" videos. Well, not together necessarily, but, if it would help, by all means. I may be old but I am not dead and my long term memory is fine, thank you. I offer this advice, shocking as it may be coming from a "little old lady", because, unless you do something to embrace one another, your marriage could descend into the humdrum and boring (if it isn't already). All this is redundant, of course, if you have a rollicking sex life now. In which case, disregard the foregoing and jolly good luck. :cool2:
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Re: empty nest syndrome...did you survive it?

Postby Flogo » 25 Mar 2008, 15:14

Excellent words of advice or counsel, Claire!
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Re: empty nest syndrome...did you survive it?

Postby Silke » 30 Mar 2008, 09:31

my mother reacted by moving to england and work at a cirkus...
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Re: empty nest syndrome...did you survive it?

Postby pilvikki » 30 Mar 2008, 09:36

why didn't i think of that???

oh waiiit... this is a circus, just not the kind i'd prefer....
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