long distance relationships

[Silke]

ah, but it isn't that they don't try to understand - they do! they try to understand me to death but all they do is agree with me, if I'm in the wrong they won't tell me. There is no depths, there are no reflection about anything. it is a simple "you are right, they are bad, let's go for ice cream" kind of answers. I don't believe I'm that infallible, and neither should they. "I love your input, it makes me think. thanks!" but they don't make me think and if I let them they make me cocky. Friends? In some sense of the word, yes. True friends? No.

[Ice.Maiden]

Are your expectations of them too high? It sounds like you have friends Silke, but perhaps they aren't picking up on what you'd really like from them? I believe there are times when folk should be able to discuss in-depth things, and a time when flippant remarks are all that're needed.
If they agree with you all the time, is it because they fear your reaction if they have different opinions or views to yourself? Friendship's all about few words being needed sometimes, but also being able to listen to what others are trying to convey. A true friend'll understand you, but only if you're open with them and tell them what your innermost thoughts are. That way, they learn to respect your feelings and to know how honest they can be with you.

[Silke]

ah but I do have friends! good friends too, no problems with that. Just not the definition of a "true friend" that came about here.

I wouldn't be surprised if they feared my reaction if they disagreed as that would result in me thinking out loud and suddenly they have to evaluate their statements. Scary thing for some people.

A true friend'll understand you, but only if you're open with them and tell them what your innermost thoughts are. That way, they learn to respect your feelings and to know how honest they can be with you.

really? then how come the last two times I've discussed my personal life and thoughts, the kind I don't want lain bare for the world those things come up in conversations with strangers? Perhaps you are right, perhaps my expectations are too high for people aged between 20-30....

[Ice.Maiden]

Aww, Silke hun, I'm not so sure that age comes into it. Sometimes, a simple view voiced by a younger person than ourselves can make wonderful sense - and sometimes, talking to strangers can be more therapeutic than chats with those you know well, because maybe we don't want some friends to delve too deeply? I'm not sure, but I know that I can trust my real friends, and we all just have an "understanding" of how the others feel. Perhaps it's intuition with knowing each other so well, I'm not sure.