Who's most upset by the 2012 race?

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Who's most upset by the 2012 race?

Postby AJRC » 09 Oct 2011, 12:20

MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report) – A looming presidential race between a black guy and a Mormon is creating a major quandary for America’s bigots, a new poll reveals.

According to the poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, a broad majority of likely bigot voters “strongly agreed” with the statement, “If it winds up being between a black guy and a Mormon I don’t know what I’ll do because I don’t know which I hate more.”

Tea Party activist Eldin Brazelton of Oak Park, Illinois, expressed a frustration typical of the bigots surveyed: “We’ve spent the last three years stirring up anger towards a black guy, and that’s all going to go to waste if we just up and nominate a Mormon.”

According to Mr. Brazleton, a presidential choice between President Barack Obama and former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney would be no choice at all: “For the life of me I don’t know why we can’t just have a regular President.”

Mr. Brazleton, who considers himself a sexist as well as a bigot, said that the doomsday scenario unfolding for 2012 offered one small silver lining: “At least we know it’s not going to be a woman this time.”

Elsewhere, in response to the ongoing Occupy Wall Street protests in lower Manhattan, banking giant Goldman Sachs announced today that it was investing in pepper-spray futures.
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Re: Who's most upset by the 2012 race?

Postby kg » 09 Oct 2011, 14:29


    :lmao1: :lmao1: :lmao1:

My Dad just had a thought; imagine the furor if an atheist wins a nomination! Radical Right heads would be exploding all over the country! Right-leaning Blogs and Forums would become rife with comedy...it could become, "interesting!"

:lmao4:
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Re: Who's most upset by the 2012 race?

Postby AJRC » 10 Oct 2011, 13:36

That would be my dream come true, an Atheist leader. But a Mormon one would be just as good, can't wait to watch the teabaggers implode when Romney is picked. :lmao3:
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