polygamy

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Re: polygamy

Postby Ice.Maiden » 08 Dec 2011, 11:29

Yes, but unfortunately, many polygamous relationships involve younger girls; not all, but a lot of them do.

In places where it's practiced, the adults involved are bound to say it's OK, but I personally feel that it's morally AND ethically wrong. However, if consenting adults wish to live their lives in that manner, then I guess that's up to them.
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Re: polygamy

Postby Silke » 13 Dec 2011, 11:05

I think morality vs ethics needs to be decided each and every time. If it is the child-marriges they want to kill I'd say no party in the marrige can be below the age of 25.

I do not understand polygamous relationships. I do not condone them (barred children and brainwashed people) and I do not suport them (in any form). If the problem is cultural, banning is not the answer. restricting perhaps, but not banning.
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Re: polygamy

Postby pilvikki » 13 Dec 2011, 23:30

    If the problem is cultural, banning is not the answer. restricting perhaps, but not banning.


    but i don't see it as a problem. [again, kids excluded] if someone wants to have 3 spouses, as long as it's ok with all concerned, go for it.

    what i would count as a BIG problem would be the tibetan custom of marrying all the brothers from one family. or occasionally having all the sisters marry one husband.

    OR, having become widowed/ered, share spouse with daughter or son...

    i mean... seriously???? :shock:
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    Re: polygamy

    Postby pilvikki » 14 Dec 2011, 00:22


    interesting article on the subject of polyandry:

    http://anthropologyman.com/files/15_When_Brothers_Share_a_Wife.pdf

    interesting how so many indigenous peoples have so little angst about paternity and sex...
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    Re: polygamy

    Postby Ice.Maiden » 14 Dec 2011, 17:51

    That IS interesting. If it works for other people, fine, but I wouldn't be interested in sharing a husband or having more than one.
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    Re: polygamy

    Postby pilvikki » 15 Dec 2011, 09:50

      one at a time seems bad enough... :shock:

      i cannot begin to contemplate the ramifications. :snoot:
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      Re: polygamy

      Postby Ice.Maiden » 15 Dec 2011, 17:44

      True, but it seems to me that where this type of set-up seems to work, the women are quite subservient - in other words, it seems to be a "law" set by men FOR men, and because the women don't know any different, they just accept it and actually find some things in favour of it. It's basically no different to men who have concubines, except that the women in that case don't have the "privilege" of marriage.
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      Re: polygamy

      Postby pilvikki » 16 Dec 2011, 01:47

        true enough. i did have a book about studies done in the 50's of various social customs. the book was written by men and covered patriarchal as well as matriarchal traditions. now, to me the most intriguing observation was that in tibet a man was free to have affairs if their communal wife was not enough for him. it was - understandable.

        however, down there in S/A was a tribe with their roles reversed: she owned the property, looked after any business, decided on chores etc. and she was free to do pretty well whatever she felt like as far as other men were concerned.

        oh wow. the learned men trashed that practice as disgraceful, immoral and the women shameless hussies.

        wtf???
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        Re: polygamy

        Postby Yogi » 16 Dec 2011, 11:22

        It seems to me that nearly all the major cultures of the world favor male dominance. It's only us folks in Westernized civilizations that put up with the likes of women's lib and equality. In terms of numbers, we are n the minority.
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        Re: polygamy

        Postby Ice.Maiden » 16 Dec 2011, 14:17

        Two interesting comments there.

        Despite cultural differences and trends, I still see it as a "man's world", whether rightly so or not, but I think this's actually quite "normal". Nature intended the male to have dominance over the female (in most species), and the human being's no different.

        Of course, I believe in equality in the workplace and home, and think that us women should have the same rights as men do, but it can go too far either way. There's nothing worse than a dominant, bossy man - OR woman.
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        Re: polygamy

        Postby Silke » 17 Dec 2011, 07:09

        Ok, I am getting teaked by the way this descussion takes us. Having gender devided tasks and roles are not the same as oppression of either gender - generally speaking. Generally it is just a way of life most of us don't understand - but that we don't understand it does not make it wrong, immoral or anything else. Fine. Forced marriges asside, slavery asside.

        The west have been one of those cultures, still the phrase "behind a great man is an even greater women" have florished and been accepted as truth for centuries.
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        Re: polygamy

        Postby Ice.Maiden » 18 Dec 2011, 13:30

        Well put Silke. It wouldn't do for us all to be the same anyway.
        More than one husband at a time though? No .... not for me.
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        Re: polygamy

        Postby Silke » 19 Dec 2011, 13:08

        yeah, I can´t see that ever happening for me either. That is how we were raised though, so I guess we are very bias in the matter.
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        Re: polygamy

        Postby Ice.Maiden » 19 Dec 2011, 14:05

        Can you imagine if the second husband was bone idle or mean? It's true what they say about never really knowing someone until you live with them, and who'd want to pander to someone like that?
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        Re: polygamy

        Postby pilvikki » 30 Dec 2011, 11:27


        Despite cultural differences and trends, I still see it as a "man's world", whether rightly so or not, but I think this's actually quite "normal". Nature intended the male to have dominance over the female (in most species), and the human being's no different.


        there's where you and i differ: i believe the one most capable should be in charge of whatever and nature did not intend the male to have dominance over the female, or we would have never survived to this stage of the game - which isn't now going so well, is it?

        viking women ran their households and their businesses, finnish women ditto. warfare being the national pastime, you could hardly be gone for years and then come home and expect everyone to instantly cowtow to your greater wisdom in household matters?

        as far as i'm concerned, it's been the church that upended all the old customs and gave men the upper hand with its creepy laws.
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        Re: polygamy

        Postby Ice.Maiden » 30 Dec 2011, 13:28

        Yes, I see what you mean, but of course, when men are away at war, the women have no choice but to strong - which I think we are, especially mentally - and by dominance, I meant that men are, in the main, the fighters - hunters - providers. It doesn't sound right to say that in this day and age. Women are more than capable of multi-tasking; raising families, keeping the home in order, working hard, and, in many cases, doing this without a man behind them, but if you enter into a relationship, then I don't think it's right for EITHER to be dominant in an aggressive way, but rather to respect each other's strengths and weaknesses.

        However, except for using scientific methods, we need men in order to perpetuate our species. We don't NEED, but it's best to HAVE them around to build, toil - and change lightbulbs!! If a woman had to do everything on her own, she'd soon age very quickly, and die before time. This's what happened years ago, when food was scarce and they had child after child. It wore them down and turned them into old women by the time they reached 40.

        Women are by far the most resilient and able, but I still think that it's a "man's world". Out of necessity, many females have to take on a masculine role, but they often envy their sisters who have a good man behind them, especially as they get older and have no one to share life with. For some, that's their own choice, but for others, their dominant streak often puts men off - probably because the boot's on the other foot for a change, but in-your-face females aren't particularly attractive to the opposite sex. They seem to be seen as equals, but not good parter material.

        Ah well, I still have a lot to learn yet. Give me another 15-20 years, and I might think differently.

        Obviously there are exceptions, but if a woman wants to make all the decisions and to do everything for herself, which she's entitled to - great, if that's what she wants, but she might as well've been born a man. I think it's nice to have a feminine side and to have a man there to fall back on at times.
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