Short story up on Microcerpt.

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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Kellemora » 30 Jun 2014, 10:02

Received another reply in this mornings e-mail.

It simply said, "I like the story, it is interesting, and I support authors who's work I like. But don't expect a review, it was poorly edited, no review is better than a bad review."

She liked it well enough after reading to buy a copy.
Then mentioned it only merited a bad review.

Seems I get that a lot lately! Good stories, not well edited. Even on the ones that were semi-pro edited.
At least they are not saying HORRIBLE EDITING any more.

Oh well, I guess that is a sign I am getting a little better, hi hi...
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 30 Jun 2014, 14:54

Of course you are Gary, and at least you're getting feedback, so that's the important thing.

I wonder in what way they think it was poorly edited? Has anyone explained exactly what they mean by that?
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Kellemora » 01 Jul 2014, 11:23

Oh I know Icey, my grammar is horrible, so I don't catch things I should catch. Even the pro's miss a lot too.

On my current WIP for the series, after numerous meetings and finally getting a style everyone agreed will work just fine. Then adding in things I really didn't want to. After presenting the first several pages again. Now they want almost everything they suggested to be added in, cut out. Basically, jump to chapter three as the starting point.

What makes this a little humorous is I sat back in my chair and just listened, as the four argued back and forth about why this should or shouldn't have been included. After about an hour of talking about it, they finally agreed that it needs to be there, but truncated to only a couple of paragraphs. In other words, the equivalent of three chapters condensed down to a few paragraphs.

This is basically what I had before they kept adding and adding to build up the introduction. Trying to set the stage for the style used to present the story.
After the meeting while we were having a few snacks, one of the fellows who loves my website, said I could use everything we took out, as a little extra stuff for my readers to learn about more of the backstory elements.
So I guess all that work and editing will not be wasted after all.
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 01 Jul 2014, 12:54

Well hey ho, after all that, eh? Sigh ....

I'm still learning though. Nice to hear what the editors're looking for, even though I'd refuse to take much notice! : )

Grammar can be put right. I wouldn't worry too much about that.

Condensing certain parts could be quite a task, because in yours, the writer's, opinion, everything needs to be there as an explanation.

Now I don't do too much of that myself. Of course, some background info's there, but I bring it into the storyline as I go along. In that respect, the story gets going from the start, and it doesn't always become a necessity to fill the reader in at length, because it either becomes obvious, or irrelevant, BUT, your novels're of a different genre to mine, and intended to make the readers use their imagination from the snippets they come across.

Perhaps this's wrong. I'm listening to you Gary. I take on board what you say, and what your critics/editors might comment on.

If something's too long-winded, it can throw the reader off the unfolding tale. That's why, on first reading, I found Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit a bit difficult to digest at first. Absolutely brilliant stories, but I had to keep going back when I forgot who was who! I first read them in my teens though, and obviously, as subsequent reads came along, they made more sense, and I'd then remember.

I've been privileged to read some of your work, and the lengthy parts didn't really strike me as being unnecessary. I was just happy to read it all, because when you were writing about the printing machines, for example (and I won't go into detail here because you know which story I'm on about, and I don't want to ruin it for anyone reading in), it just struck me how much you knew about the business. I didn't, so it was interesting to me, but perhaps others might see it as the detail not appertaining to what comes later - if that makes sense!

Well, you know I wish you all the best with it. I'm sure that your hard work WILL pay off. Don't feel too disappointed by reactions such as those above. Remember, there're always other people to show your work to! : )
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Kellemora » 02 Jul 2014, 09:15

I do over describe a lot of things, and sometimes repeat the same information where it belongs in the story.

The first couple of paragraphs are to hook the reader into wanting to learn more.

I've never quite figured out how to do this, without giving a short synopsis of the story. But then, if I gave away the whole story on the first page. Why would anyone read it?
Doing so also means the same info is repeated later on, causing redundancy.

When I thought we were getting close to the opening of the story. Against my better judgment we added both a Prologue and a Dedication. Neither of these gave away any spoilers. The prologue set the stage as the story is being told in a History Museum. And the dedication told the history of the museum itself. EXACTLY like you get when you go to a real museum. At the time we kept adding to these two documents, everyone was in agreement on two things. The first, most people don't read a prologue or dedication, they jump straight to Chapter One. The second, Chapter One should provide a summary of the story to draw the reader in.

We spent months getting these two sections written, edited, parts cut and other parts added, until it sounded like the spiel you get when visiting any museum. I even went to our local museums to see how they handled it. Although I didn't want a prologue and dedication, it did fit with what goes on in real life.

Chapter One was a summary of the whole first book story, which is not good. Then the actual story started with Chapter Two. So a lot of things mentioned in the opening of Chapter One, were repeated in Chapter Two, and so on and so forth through the rest of the book.
One of the editors said, Chapter One is NOT supposed to be a set of Cliff Notes, hi hi...

Most of the story itself is just fine. I have several editing notes, deletions and corrections to make during the rewrite. It's getting past the opening that is dealing me fits.
The problem is, I really love the way we developed the perfect presentation and setting for the telling of the story. By making short quotes directly from the journals (diaries) is how I add the dialog. I let the narrator (the museum curator) tell the story narrative and provide scene descriptions. He is paraphrasing from the diaries in third person without doing actual first person quotes for most of it.
My critique group loves the way I have modified my story to being told in this fashion.
But getting past those first couple of pages, affects everything else too.

TTUL
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 02 Jul 2014, 19:54

Gary, I think you worry too much. I'm sure the end product'll be just fine, as you said.

The first 2 or 3 paragraphs of a book, are, to my mind, quite important. It could just be about the protagonist - or a house or what someone's thinking as they drive to towards their destination. As an example ....

The clip-clop of hooves sounded muffled in the cold air, as the carriage wended its way through the narrow cobbled streets. The sole occupant drew her cloak tightly around herself and peered out through the misted windows.

Suddenly they were there. The coach rocked to a halt, and horses snorted impatiently. The door swung open, and Marina stared in wonder as a tall figure materialised out of the gloom.

"Lady Formile?" The man touched his hat. "Welcome to Bradley Hall."
.....................................................................................................................................

This was the start of one of my stories. It was shelved, because a better idea sprang to mind, but when I showed it to someone at the time, they wanted to know who this lady was, and what she was going to the hall for. This would've gradually become apparent, but I had intentions of bringing that out as she got familiar with the place, and through thoughts and interaction with other people. Subsequent pages would've introduced at least 2 more characters, with others appearing later.

This was intended for adult reading, but my writing style remains pretty constant with regard to keeping the reader guessing. I'll describe necessary parts, but never right from the beginning, so that surprises, guesswork and intrigue work their way into the story as it unfolds. Halfway through the book, the readers have a good idea of what's happening, but I bring out a twist at the end. Having said that, the first page, shall we say, can't be boring, otherwise people won't want to read on.

For me, I don't think everything has to be explained. The situations and conversations which take place make things obvious as to what's happening at any particular point in the story, BUT, I've only had short stories and articles published. A full book's a different kettle of fish, and my way of writing's probably nothing like an editor'd want to see.

I like to keep up a good pace. Obviously, a chapter or two might bring that down to a slower one, but not for long.

With my envisaged "fairy stories", I don't have to detail the characters too much. A paragraph of descriptive words allows the reader to form their own opinions, and there's rarely any background information required.

It's different with your own stories, because they're true to life, but even so, I don't think it's always necessary to go into graphic detail about a character's history. A few sentences can suffice as you go along.

You're already an author, so to speak. I'm not. I don't class my few published efforts as allowing myself to be called a writer. I LIKE writing, but so far, it just stays at that. I know I have a lot to learn, and you've been very helpful. My problem is that I'm only concerned about 2 things - that I like what I've written, and that the audience the work's aimed at like it as well. I'm not bothered about criticism in that I'd want to change things, and I'm not so sure that editors're always right either. You could have half a dozen people checking your story out, and they might all have different opinions, so MY opinion is that, once I've read my stories over to myself, and put myself into character mode when reading their dialogue - if it sounds interesting, natural and entertaining, then the job's done.

When the time comes, I'll approach a publisher, and if no one's interested, I'll go the POD route, even if it costs me more money to do that than any it might bring in. My aim's not to make loads of money from a best-seller. If it happened, it'd be great, but I'd be doing it from an entertainment point of view.

I was only reading yesterday about a woman who, with no prior experience's had a book published immediately. It's about life growing up with a disabled sibling. I forget the name of this woman, but her paperback's out, and she's being hailed as an amazing newcomer to the literary world. It can happen to anyone Gary. It depends on the topic, how well it's written - and who notices it. You just have to have confidence in your ability, and so far, you're heading in the right direction. : )
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Kellemora » 03 Jul 2014, 11:43

Thank you Icey

Your intro is perfect, just how it is supposed to be.

One of the authors in our old critique group makes a marvelous living writing short stories for the niche shelves.
More than two-thirds of those he writes, gets trad published too.
When he first told me this, I was amazed he did very well at all, knowing almost all of them on the shelves are done in-house by the publishers, but often based on a real submission, so they have a real authors name to put on the cover.
He takes a day to go around to the bookstores and see what they have on the shelves, the date of the most recent publication in that category, and mainly who published it, so he doesn't submit to the publisher garnering that shelf space. This is his edge to get his foot in the door. But he also studies the publishers themselves to see what size they normally print, and several other aspects.
More often than not, he is writing about things he really doesn't know much about. But he knows how to research, find what is old hat, and what is new and working well. Plus he may interview important people in the field he is writing about, and add their commentary, concepts, or ideas.
Back when we first met, I made a comment to him about 'grass skiing' as something I did way back in the '70s. He made a note in his research notebook at the time. When we crossed paths around a year later, he handed me a copy of a book on 'grass skiing.' The hobby is not dead, just so little was known about it, nobody carried the equipment. In his book he listed suppliers of gear, locations for annual events, and several clubs across the country. The publisher read the short book and jumped right on it. Had it on the store shelves in less than three months time. Which is an amazing turn-around time for a publisher.

As far as my work. I often say, I write it how I want it written. Then I check it over to remove redundancies, weasel words, etc. then submit to a grammarian to fix my grammar mistakes.

However, that being said, my series is like my baby, and I want it to be as best as it can be, without going too far overboard and ruining it.
I have the entire story in my head, and about two-thousand notes all carefully organized, plus the maps, character sketches, etc. ad infinitum.

I wrote the entire story in first person as a very rough draft, just to get it down on paper. Then began making adjustments to my timeline as I relocated my setting further west, which changed one heck of a lot of things about the story.
Then I was faced with the hard task of figuring out the best way to tell the story.
Should it be told: 'as it happened' as if being told 'live' at the time it took place?
Or would it be better told as a narration? Straight narration is very boring to read!
I decided to tell it after the fact, at first as if a grandfather was telling it to his grandchildren. Oral heritage.
This sorta worked, but was still only a narration.
To get away from the narration only problem, I decided the protagonist had written a diary, and grandpa could read from the diary. This made for many pages of quotes which would also be boring.

If you recall from previous comments. I started out writing about the worlds largest detective agency, and began moving backwards in time to when it was founded. I kept going and going and going until I was all the way back to the first pioneer. This changed the story from a Mystery to an Historical for the first several books.
And this is what caused all the problems of presentation mentioned above.

Telling the story in the 'here and now' is a whole lot easier. But finding a setting for telling the story in is what bogged me down for a long time, before I came up with the idea of using a gathering at a History Museum. This still presents problems, because only part of the story can be told to guests visiting the museum, and everything else will have to come from books they purchased from the museum.

Just how much needs to be told about the museum itself is where our critique group kept coming up with more and more things to say in the opening of the book. Even some things as they happen in real life in a real museum. Then after I added all of this, and everyone agreed it sounded perfect. They turned tail on me and said it is way to much information not related to the story being told.

I couldn't help but laugh and sit back as they argued among themselves about how much is too much.
But as I said in my last post, I didn't like having a prologue to start with, much less a long prologue and even longer dedication.
But getting that first paragraph of Chapter One worked into a perfect hook, is something I do not shine at very well. I over tell and give away spoilers and don't even realize it until someone else takes a look at it.

At least I am finally getting there, and once the opening is etched in stone, I will be able to sail through most of the rest of the story during the rewrite.

TTUL
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 03 Jul 2014, 16:24

Hi Gary. I remember you saying about the detective agency, and going back in time - or was it from the beginning, and bringing it up to the present day at first? Whatever, I marvelled at what a lot of work must've gone into it, and I think you get 10 out of 10 for doing your research, even if you embellished on some of it to make good reading.

I fully understand that this's your "baby". You have it all mapped out in your mind, so it'd almost be a crime in itself if you gave up on it!

The first few paragraphs - and indeed, the very first line - need to be eye-catching. Whether in the first person or not, would a "musing" seem appropriate? Something like:

Carl (or whatever name you want to use) slid uncomfortably back into his rickety old chair, his feet idly raised onto the low table.
His thoughts drifted off as he surveyed the bustling street before him. (Sorry, can't type in italics here ..)
"It wasn't always like this, and there's a lot of history to be told. An awful lot."
................................................................................................................................................

I don't know whether that'd be appropriate at all, as I don't know how you intend to start off, but it'd introduce the person who's narrating the story - obviously with more detail over the next paragraph or so - if you WANT it to go like that. It's just an example really, but intros can come in many forms - i.e. someone looking at a new building, and thinking back to when g-g-grandma used to tell tales that'd been handed down to her; probably once sat in the very same position as the storyteller, recounting stories and wondering at how quickly the changes'd come about.

Perhaps you don't WANT a narrator, as such. I don't know how your story's going to pan out. Is the purpose of it solely as an historical account, or are you weaving a tale into it as well? I could think of dozens of ways of getting started, but there has to be a point behind it as well. Historical accounts can start with something like: "Blackhills is a town which's sprung up over 200 years, and during that time, immense changes've taken place." ........

You mention the museum angle. That's quite good, but how much history are you prepared to go into if there's a story within the story, sort of thing?

I think you'll manage it. It's something that's been in your mind for a while, and I think folk locally'd be interested. I don't know how far that interest'd radiate though, if it was JUST an account of the immediate area and how it's changed.

If you're including a crime story within it, then the history of the place, although relevant, could be shaved right down, or at least not written in long blocks. The story itself'd have to shine through all the factual information.

I think you've set yourself quite a monumental task with all this, but because it's something you've been considering for a long time, I'm sure you'll get there.

From how your critique group reacted, it's a perfect example of what I was saying earlier. Everyone has their own ideas about how THEY'D put the novel together. You tried to incorporate some of it - and then they said you'd written too much info! You can't win - but in actual fact, you CAN. Take on board what these people might say, but don't necessarily appease them. YOU'RE the author, and your work should be how YOU want it - not what others have in mind. Even my own well-meant suggestions're useless really, because I'm looking at it from my own viewpoint - as if I was the writer, which I'm not.

I reckon that if you feel satisfied with what you read, Gary, then that's the version you should stick with. You could be critiqued for ever, and still more folk'd find something they thought you should include, or exclude, so where's the stopping point?

You're still enthusiastic, so while the inspiration's there - keep slogging away. Some think it's easy work being an author, but it's not. Fantastic ideas can come to you, but getting things down in the right way can cause problems. I can't really advise you on what you should, and shouldn't be doing, but I DO know a good read when I see one. All you need's the conviction of your ideas. You want to do this book, and so you will. Good luck!
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Kellemora » 04 Jul 2014, 10:41

Hi Icey

Normally, I would sit down with an idea and work on outlines and sketches to see if it goes anywhere worth telling or reading. Then get right to pounding out the story in short form, then adding where it needs something added, and cutting out things that don't carry the story forward. After the first rewrite from the short form, creating my first rough draft, I either decide to continue or scrap it.

I have several folders filled with storyline concepts for great mystery scenes. Each would make a great short story, but none of them could really become a full-length novel without making more out of them than they really are. I honestly dislike reading a novel where the entire novel is spent solving a single crime. There are exceptions to this of course where it takes a whole novel to solve the crime. But most of them are just loaded with non-essential fluff and side stories which make them something other than a mystery.

Rather than telling my story in short episodes, like TV crime drama's. I spent a considerable amount of time trying to come up with a way of telling each story in a single book, but not in episodic fashion. This is when I came up with the idea of creating the worlds largest detective agency. This would allow me to follow the cases of different detective groups within the agency.
When I first started writing, it didn't matter how or when the detective agency started, just that it was. I just figured my description of the Rumbleigh Detective Agency, would automatically make people think of Pinkerton's or Scotland Yard. Preferably Pinkerton's.
It was when I was writing dialogue that questions and comments arose about the agency. Like, where is it located? Who founded it? How did they get so big? How many years have they been in business?
So I sat down and began writing location sketches, and drawing a city map of where it was located.

One thing led to another until I began searching for the beginning of the agency, which led to learning about its original founder. I had the DATE the business was established and by whom. BUT when I placed it on the map, I had a major time problem. It was still Indian Territory on this date. I didn't want to locate my detective agency in the east, but deep in the mid-west. This is how I ended up going all the way back to the first pioneer to settle in the area. In other words, if the detective agency was founded in 1860, and I plopped it down near Denver, Colorado. This location was not even open for settlement until 1862.

I LOVE the history of my home town, and although in the mid-west, with a colorful history, it too was slightly younger than eastern cities. Eastern cities developed in a much different way than western cities, so I had a lot of studying and coordinating to do, to set the stage for my detective agency. The more I studied the time lines and the area I chose for my detective agency, the more it aligned with how my home town grew and developed. The only real problem was the time line differentials, and national events which took place.

Most of the data I compiled about the development and growth of the detective agency was based on an eastern time line where things moved much faster, and civil disobedience began and escalated very fast due to the rapid population growth and density of eastern cities.

The growth of my home town, being just across the Mississippi river in St. Louis, came at a later date, things were done differently and slower. Problems faced in the east would not occur in my area, nor unfold in the same way. But my own home town growth from a settlement, to a town, to a city, was more in line with what I envisioned. Needless to say, this shifted the time line of my agency, and its events to a later date. So all national events that played a role in its structure no longer existed in the current time frame I was in.

To add insult to injury, shifting my location setting almost one-thousand miles further west, destroyed both time lines like you wouldn't believe. I was now in an area that was undeveloped, still Indian territory, with a thriving detective agency that couldn't possibly emulate the original thriving eastern setting.

Using Pinkerton's as an example. It was founded in 1850 from a need for such services, and by 1890 had more detectives than the US Army. Crimes were sufficient in the east to keep them busy enough to need that many detectives.
One cannot pick Pinkerton's up and drop them in Denver, Colorado in 1850 because this was the uncharted wilderness at that time. There was no need for a detective agency there yet, and obviously no crimes to solve.
So you see the pickle I got myself into by trying to take existing examples as the basis for my setting, and how national events played a key role in how these examples unfolded.

I had to study the time lines for western and mid-western cities, shift my home town events and extend the event time lines over a longer time period, like playing a 45rpm record at 33-1/3rpm. Then take my eastern city events and slow them down, like paying a 78rpm record at 45rpm and change how they developed to match western and mid-western development. Then make each important event coincide with national events that caused changes in how things developed.

Although my city is entirely fictional, it is based on the true history of my home town, but geared to the slower western time line. Pulling all of this together was a monumental four year task, before I could begin writing the first words for the historical part of my series. This backstory has become my favorite part of the whole series.

I wrote a History Book of Roaring Falls spanning over 150 years to use as a reference while writing. Although it touches on the late 1700s and depicts a major 1807 event, it is basically how the town grew over the years. What homes still remain as historical monuments, which were razed, and about the change in governmental structure. I decided to end the History Book at the nations bicentennial in 1976, so I could get back to writing the series.

Normally one would only mention a little of the backstory in their novels, and let folks visualize for themselves how the town grew and the detective agency became the largest. There are just so many unique developments that took place in the growth of my home town, that I chose to begin at the very beginning. When the Stren family left their Virginia home to move west to Oregon in 1820.

I did this simply because of nearly impossible events that took place, bringing the first lone pioneer through hostile Indian territory to the uncharted wilderness, over thirty years before the land was open to settlement. I find our towns history more exciting that those events found in the Little House books by Wilder. If people loved the Little House series, I'm sure they will love the trials and tribulations of Josiah Stren, as the opening books for the Roaring Falls series.

How to present the story in the most meaningful way possible is what bogged me down for over two years. Every approach I tried presented unjustifiable problems in the storyline. Telling the story as it happened made it more exciting, but suffered heavily in visual detail. Using a narrative approach, although more visual, took away some of the excitement, and soon became boring to read.
After at least thirty false starts, I finally hit on a way that maintained the excitement of as it happened, and included enough narrative to give visual detail, without being boring. This is when the present day museum curator as the storyteller came into play. He could narrate the story scenes and include journal quotes as necessary to add the characters personal feelings as it happened.
This approach, although hard to find the perfect opening to move the story along, is the only one approved by everyone who has read it. Each have claimed it is the best method they have seen to present the story. We have added a lot and removed even more, to get it where I am right now. We finally crossed the hurdle and everything is finally pulling together wonderfully.

TTUL
Gary
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 04 Jul 2014, 17:31

Good evening Gary!

Well you sure know your stuff after all the research you've done. It's fascinating how you've managed to pull everything together, in what I assume's just one book?

Your Roaring Falls was lovely. I felt I could've lived there! I'm amazed that this latest project's still exciting you enough to carry on with it after so long, BUT, I've read about authors who've spent 10 years in perfecting a book, and the wait's paid off.

You remember me saying about a woman who's just had a book published, and a little publishing place snapped it up? Well the author's called Eimear McBride, and the book's called "A Girl is a Half Formed Thing". It was available on Kindle, but for some reason it's now "out of stock". I got the woman's history wrong, in saying that she wrote the story and then it was published immediately. in fact, she won 2 writers' prizes for it, last year and this, but I was right in that her rise to fame's come fairly quickly. Having said that, like JK Rowling, it's taken her 10 years to get the book into publication, and if it hadnt've been for this little publishing house spotting it, she might still be struggling along.

After all the work you've done on this epic book of yours, you deserve some recognition. The same goes for Glenn, with his magnificent tome. I've had a lot of personal things to see to just lately, but I must write to him.

Meanwhile, please, please carry on.

My author friend's ready to launch TWO more books!! She's ripping along with them now, as well as writing a regular newspaper column and a million other things. You people astound me with your energy. I wish I could join you, but it's impossible at this stage of my life, although my enthusiasm hasn't waned! I hope it never does. I learnt to write before I went to school, and wrote my first "long" story when I was 7. It filled a full-scap jotter. My teacher at the time called my parents into school and said that I was an author in the making. Well, it hasn't happened yet, apart from small articles being published in a few magazines, but fingers crossed, it will, when the time's right.

I could never write the sort of stuff which you do. I'd find all the notes, research and re-writes too complex. With me, an idea pops into my head and a story just forms. I don't forget them, so don't need to make notes about anything, but if a particularly good expression springs to mind, then I'll pop it down somewhere and try and use it at some stage.

I'm impressed by your tenacity. I have a half-written novel which I started several years ago. At the time, I loved it, but after later reads, I'm not so sure. It's not rubbish enough to throw away, but at the same time I don't know if I could get back into it with the same gusto as I started with. To my mind, that makes the thing a no-no. If it wasn't good enough to continue with at the time, then I feel it's had its day before it's even finished.

What happens now then Gary? I understand everything you've said above, and can see the difficulties you were faced with, but have you now completed the story to your satisfaction, or is there still a way to go?
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Kellemora » 05 Jul 2014, 11:34

Hi Icey

You would probably do best as a Pantser by sticking only with short-stories. As Ray Bradbury says, you can't write 50 bad ones in a row, one of them will soar with the eagles.

I have all the location and time line details worked out and etched in stone for Part One of my series.
Finding the most intriguing way to tell the story is what bogged me down for such a long time. Too many cooks adding their ingredients at first. But then we used a little from each of them and kept condensing. This was the hardest part so far, but I think we finally nailed it.

Roaring Falls will be a very long series. The two primary series components will be the Historical Series, which brings us from the first pioneer, through the establishment of the town and growth of the city, and up through the founding of the Detective Agency to when its development is well known. Then the series will change gears through a transitional stage and become a Mystery Series on how the crimes were solved by the detectives.
Unlike most Mystery books where they solve only a single crime, I intend for my books to solve several crimes by different detectives in the agency.
As an adjunct to the Historical and Mystery series, a separate Romance Series based on the characters in the novels will be opened for romance writers to publish their stories in the Roaring Falls setting.
I'm not sure how many novels will be in each part of the series, because we keep changing how long each book should be. Today's trend is for shorter novelettes over longer epic length novels. I can guess that there will be around seven novels in each set for a total of around fourteen before the series changes to episodic novels.

We have condensed four pages down to only three paragraphs, removed all the spoilers, and cut out so much, it will cause several changes in the following chapters. The three pages of Prologue and Dedication have been severely cut to only ten short lines. So we are keeping the short Prologue, but deleted the Dedication in its entirety. However, a few lines were added as backstory in the chapters themselves.

Here are the first few unedited lines from the rough draft of Chapter One. I won't know until our next meeting if I need to change anything before it goes into grammatical editing. Once we get past this first page, the rest is fairly well written for the first three books in Part One of the series. The Prologue sets the invitation for folks to come to the theater's Curators' Corner.

***
Thank you my esteemed guests for accepting the invitation, and welcome to the Curators’ Corner. It gives me great pleasure to privately share with you, Josiah Stren’s unique and yet untold story.
Our museum is filled with information about our towns founder, after he arrived in 1828. Until recently, the stories passed down by this first settlers family, concerning his childhood hardships, were considered mere speculation.

The thought of a ten year old child, suffering from the cholera epidemic that killed every man, woman, and child in their wagon train. Left alone, unconscious, and near death, in the hot prairie, over three hundred miles from civilization, is unbelievable enough.
Add to this impossible tale, how he managed to survive for over twenty months; only to be adopted and used as a slave laborer for six years before escaping his captors. His dangerous flight through hostile Indian territory, following their hunting trails, led him back through the open prairie to the western wilderness.

As a direct descendant and member of the Stren family, the discovery of Josiah’s early journals are especially meaningful to me. In them he reveals the many trials and tribulations that brought him to Roaring Falls.
***

The rest of chapter one continues here talking about the journals. Chapter Two begins the story.

I will probably publish on my website the original prologue and dedication as additional information, for readers so inclined to learn more about the backstory. The original Chapter One, although still on my hard drives, is considered permanently deleted for use from anywhere. It was nothing but one spoiler after another. Basically a summary of my entire first book story written like Cliff Notes, hi hi... Why read the entire book when the whole story was summarized in the first chapter?

TTUL
Gary
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 06 Jul 2014, 04:33

Morning Gary.

I think you've got it right for your particular writing style and the stories themselves, and thank you, I also feel that shorter stories might suit me better, although .... one's starting to form in my mind, which'd turn into a full-length novel. We'll see. I don't have the time to devote to writing as I'd like to, so NOTHING'S going forward at the moment.

I like the sound of how you're putting Josiah's trials and tribulations together. It's interesting. You're right about giving spoilers though - they sort of ruin things for later on, don't they?

Got to get off now, but "keep the faith" - you'll get there! : )
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Kellemora » 06 Jul 2014, 11:22

Thank you Icey
I hope now that we've ironed out all the wrinkles, the rest can roll right in and keep flowing.
At least I don't have to change the outlines again for it to all work together now.
TTUL
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 06 Jul 2014, 15:14

Hello Gary.

Good! A lot of the hard work's done then. Considering how many decades your story's spanning, it must've been a monumental task, though. I think it shows how much you like this story!
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Kellemora » 07 Jul 2014, 09:03

Hi Icey

Probably the main reason I kept stepping back in time, was to get to the part I like best about storytelling. How hard and painstaking it was to get where they are today.

I do love writing in this genre. It is like reliving my life all over again, only in a longer time frame.
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 07 Jul 2014, 13:42

Hi Gary.

Yes, I see what you mean, and I think good authors DO put a part of themselves into their stories, or at least into various characters, taken from their own and observed others' traits.

May your novel flourish. : )
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Kellemora » 08 Jul 2014, 11:24

I hope it does too Icey, after all the work I've put into it.

I probably would have done better if I just stuck with short stories these many years.

But as I said before. This one is my baby, that I've been nurturing along and letting grow properly.

TTUL
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 08 Jul 2014, 15:28

Yes, I know this's the one you want to see through to completion (published!). I know just what you mean about having had something in your mind for so long, and since it's still there, I feel it's going to be excellent.

It doesn't mean to say that you can't write shorter stories afterwards, but this's THE baby, isn't it? I'm ever so pleased for you. I love it when I hear of people managing to get these sort of projects going. It doesn't matter how long it's taken. The point is, that you're continuing with it, and hopefully - it's going to sell. : )
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Kellemora » 09 Jul 2014, 07:20

Thank you Icey...
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Re: Short story up on Microcerpt.

Postby Ice.Maiden » 09 Jul 2014, 09:39

I mean it, and you're very welcome.
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