Promises promises...

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody asked you the question. Well, Ask It Here.
Forum rules
Ask concise and to the point questions not intended to be lengthy discussions.
Short informative replies are expected.
Questions about Brainformation should be posted in the GURUS ARE US forum.
The general Code of Conduct rules apply to this forum.

Promises promises...

Postby Haysi » 29 Nov 2009, 09:49

Do you keep your promises if you make any that is or do you use a promise as a away of placating yourself or someone else? are promises worth the ether they are written on

I promise to come back and look at answers.

(I've realised that this sits here rather than on Random thoughts so have reposted - Haysi)
User avatar
Haysi
Advanced Degree Poster
Advanced Degree Poster
 
Posts: 506
Joined: 20 Apr 2008, 12:02

Re: Promises promises...

Postby kg » 29 Nov 2009, 17:53


    Personally, I find this sub-forum quite appropriate for this topic. It is thought provoking and deserves serious consideration.

    I always try my utmost to keep promises that I have made. A promise is a promise, and one who breaks a promise without good reason will be looked on as unreliable; with good reason.

    Having this belief, I am very careful before I promise to do something. Even with a very good reason, I still rankle if I am unable to fulfill one of my promises. I still feel I have failed and feel that I am looked upon as unreliable by the person I made the promise to.

    One of my most recent promises was in playing on my Pool league teams. I feel that, by joining, I have promised to be there every night that we play, unless I am told that I will definitely not be needed that night. That hasn't happened lately because of all the people that have joined the team, shown up for a couple of nights or so, then just "disappear," never calling anyone to say what happened or anything. That is tantamount to breaking a promise and I know what I think about it, and what everyone else thinks about it. People are counting on you to show up, then you let everyone down. Not acceptable.

    That's what has me so worried about getting employment from my applications. There is every possibility that I will get a shift that will cause me to drop out of one or both of my league teams...possibly in the middle of the season. While the reason is very good and necessary, I will still feel I'm letting my team members down. I won't just "disappear" like so many have before. My team(s) will get notice and the reason from me face to face, like any decent and respectable person should proffer.
    User avatar
    kg
    Honored 10k Club Member
    Honored 10k Club Member
     
    Posts: 10656
    Joined: 06 Sep 2007, 23:45
    Location: Godfrey, IL.

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby Ice.Maiden » 29 Nov 2009, 17:56

    Excellent kg!

    I also also don't go back on promises. If I make one, I keep it.
    User avatar
    Ice.Maiden
    Golden Poster
    Golden Poster
     
    Posts: 70045
    Joined: 14 Aug 2009, 23:31
    Location: Peak District

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby pinky » 29 Nov 2009, 18:02

    yes kg excellent. I too am always careful when i make a promise and then will honour it.

    in my line of work clients often ask for promises so you have to be clear and honest with them ad not promise what you cant honour for an easy life
    User avatar
    pinky
     

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby Ice.Maiden » 29 Nov 2009, 18:07

    I think that goes for any situation in life though, whether at work or not. If you make a promise, I believe it should be upheld, or you shouldn't make it in the first place. Mind you, unmitigating circumstances could affect the outcome - in which case I'd explain why.
    User avatar
    Ice.Maiden
    Golden Poster
    Golden Poster
     
    Posts: 70045
    Joined: 14 Aug 2009, 23:31
    Location: Peak District

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby pilvikki » 30 Nov 2009, 02:56


    i'm really fussy about promises, assuming i remember them.... i write post it notes, leave myself an email, voice mail etc and for some reason i get things screwed up anyway. it's much better for me NOT to promise a damn thing.

    :bleh:
    User avatar
    pilvikki
    Royal Poobah Penguin
    Royal Poobah Penguin
     
    Posts: 40729
    Joined: 07 Aug 2007, 23:32
    Location: france

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby meadow » 30 Nov 2009, 11:21

    i don't promise unless i can deliver. nothing aggravates me more than someone who just tells me what they think i want to hear- that's also known as LYING.
    User avatar
    meadow
     

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby Haysi » 30 Nov 2009, 15:10

    Hi kg, I agree with you when you say
    A promise is a promise, and one who breaks a promise without good reason will be looked on as unreliable; with good reason.
    . I think that a lot of people make promises that they have no intention of keeping and that devalues them - yep meadow some people do make promises to placate or as you put it so eloquently lie! I rarely make promises but when I do I make them with the belief that I'll keep it and can see thats also true of the what pinky and icemaiden have posted. There always the possibility of unforeseen and even mitigating circumstances that can occur but I personally treat my promise as an agreement to an obligation.

    Pilvikki, you need to promise to remind yourself not to promise! :doh:

    A work colleague of mine always asks people to "use the P word" when agreeing to do something for her. I think thats a wee bit over the top and reminds me of a teacher or parent asking you to "promise" not to do something! Mark Twain wrote
    "that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing"
    :mrgreen:
    User avatar
    Haysi
    Advanced Degree Poster
    Advanced Degree Poster
     
    Posts: 506
    Joined: 20 Apr 2008, 12:02

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby pinky » 30 Nov 2009, 18:20

    great mark Twain quote

    some people use the word promise too easily though
    User avatar
    pinky
     

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby Ice.Maiden » 30 Nov 2009, 19:01

    I agree, but then, I bet we've all "promised" to stay in touch with someone, or said we'll phone them later, sort of thing - and genuinely forgotten or been too busy to get back to them straight away.
    User avatar
    Ice.Maiden
    Golden Poster
    Golden Poster
     
    Posts: 70045
    Joined: 14 Aug 2009, 23:31
    Location: Peak District

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby pilvikki » 01 Dec 2009, 01:49


    i write numbers on whatever... and promptly lose the sodding things.

    what really irks me are people who have no intension at all to follow through with their promise.
    User avatar
    pilvikki
    Royal Poobah Penguin
    Royal Poobah Penguin
     
    Posts: 40729
    Joined: 07 Aug 2007, 23:32
    Location: france

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby Ice.Maiden » 01 Dec 2009, 15:04

    When this happens Vikki, you just "know" don't you? In that case, when someone says they'll do whatever - promise - I usually just give a wry smile and say: "Of course...."
    User avatar
    Ice.Maiden
    Golden Poster
    Golden Poster
     
    Posts: 70045
    Joined: 14 Aug 2009, 23:31
    Location: Peak District

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby pinky » 01 Dec 2009, 21:24

    indeed that can be very frustrating. But whats equally as tough is the needy person who keeps asking for promises for everything
    User avatar
    pinky
     

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby Ice.Maiden » 01 Dec 2009, 22:27

    To be honest, I don't think I've ever come across many people like that. If they've said something like - promise you won't tell a soul....then I'd do my best to honour that, but I won't make promises that I know I won't or can't keep.
    User avatar
    Ice.Maiden
    Golden Poster
    Golden Poster
     
    Posts: 70045
    Joined: 14 Aug 2009, 23:31
    Location: Peak District

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby pinky » 01 Dec 2009, 22:41

    i meet them in work on a daily basis but am always clear i can not keep any promise that could pose a risk to them or others. /you get promise you won't tell. promise you wont tell my parents,promise you won't leave, I am always clear with them
    User avatar
    pinky
     

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby Ice.Maiden » 01 Dec 2009, 22:55

    Within the confines of work, I think you have no choice but to use your discretion and honesty, even if it results in something unpleasant, but different situations warrant different approaches.
    A small example might be if someone said to you - "promise you'll tell me if this dress/suit doesn't look right on me?"
    Now that'd require an immediate answer, and depending on who was asking, your understanding of the promise to tell the truth might not materialise! If the item didn't look right, you were asked for an opinion, but you'd have the choice as to whether to answer honestly and say no, to try and detract from the reply - or to fib. Any one of these might be used, and the promise could soon be forgotten!
    User avatar
    Ice.Maiden
    Golden Poster
    Golden Poster
     
    Posts: 70045
    Joined: 14 Aug 2009, 23:31
    Location: Peak District

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby legend » 02 Dec 2009, 06:13

    When i was at school.
    The teacher s said i showed PROMISE.

    Bloody liars :bleh:
    User avatar
    legend
    Oracle Class Poster
    Oracle Class Poster
     
    Posts: 6829
    Joined: 01 Nov 2007, 09:21

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby Ice.Maiden » 02 Dec 2009, 15:34

    Lol! Like this were they Leggy?

    [ img ]

    Did you have to write lines like Homer Simpson - I promise not to pick my nose in class......

    :lmao1:
    User avatar
    Ice.Maiden
    Golden Poster
    Golden Poster
     
    Posts: 70045
    Joined: 14 Aug 2009, 23:31
    Location: Peak District

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby brandtrn » 02 Dec 2009, 16:27

    I, too, am careful about making promises, and won't promise anything unless I'm absolutely certain I'm able to deliver...
    User avatar
    brandtrn
    Advanced Degree Poster
    Advanced Degree Poster
     
    Posts: 1400
    Joined: 21 Aug 2007, 02:00
    Location: Northern Indiana

    Re: Promises promises...

    Postby Ice.Maiden » 02 Dec 2009, 16:36

    Best way brandtrn, but sometimes circumstances may dictate that you can't fulfil that promise, in which case I think we have to explain why not, if that's possible.
    User avatar
    Ice.Maiden
    Golden Poster
    Golden Poster
     
    Posts: 70045
    Joined: 14 Aug 2009, 23:31
    Location: Peak District

    Next

    Return to Questions

    Who is online

    Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

    cron