kid's 2!

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kid's 2!

Postby pilvikki » 10 Sep 2014, 16:43


this is news? are you serious??? mind you, beats the hell out of reporting murders and deadly accidents, but to make an issue of a 2 YEAR OLD wearing dresses!? :doh: :doh: :doh:

http://lockerdome.com/tre/6544983356348993/6928711069084948

at that age saxon wore dresses, regularly still wears nail polish - usually blue - but there's nothing girlie about him.
Last edited by pilvikki on 12 Sep 2014, 15:35, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: kids 2!

Postby Ice.Maiden » 10 Sep 2014, 18:17

Kids love to dress up, and that doesn't exclude the boys. I think the father's right not to make an issue of it, although, it strikes me as odd that a 2 year old should scream and cry when they tried to make him wear shorts to attend a party.

Since both sexes wear shorts, it almost seems like he's not used to them. Does that mean his parents allow him to wear dresses all the time - or even encourage it - in favour of unisex or boy's outfits?

If the child had transgender issues, these'll become apparent later and can be dealt with, but whilst I see nothing wrong with either boys or girls dressing up, 2 seems to be a bit young to throw tantrums when put into certain clothes.

I have a relative who liked wearing bead necklaces and'd dress up and wear his mum's high heels, but now that he's grown up, there's certainly nothing unmanly about him. I think he was probably just copying his sisters when he was little, as he's the only boy amongst 3 girls.

Some people make too much of these things, but at the same time, I don't believe that children should be pushed into either way. They are what they are.
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Re: kids 2!

Postby pilvikki » 11 Sep 2014, 16:37


icy, you forget most kids at the 'terrible 2' just want what they want and want it NOW! so anything can set them off.
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Re: kids 2!

Postby Ice.Maiden » 11 Sep 2014, 17:15

Funny you saying that. The Terrible 2's cropped up in a discussion with someone today. They said they couldn't remember their kids going through it, and I had to agree. Kids go through various stages, but I never noticed anything particularly bad once they got to that age. This might've been because there's only 22 months between our two. The eldest was fascinated by his new baby brother and encouraged to join in with handing clothes to me when the little one was being dressed and to help to bath him. They played together really well as they were growing up, and although the eldest's ALWAYS been prone to wanting his own way, he was generally obedient and accepting.
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Re: kids 2!

Postby pilvikki » 11 Sep 2014, 17:45


we had no terrible 2's in squeaki's case. said "whee, we dodged the bullet there!"

wrong. she was just lolling us into a false sense of security. and sure enough, a year later...

[ img ]

she'd gone from a chubby-cheeked sweetie pie to leading role in the exorcist! but she only had maybe 3 totally psychotic episodes and then settled down again. but it Was scary. to the point that I recorded one for the doctor to see. the crazy part was seeing that she had no control whatsoever, as if truly possessed.

once she was sick with a high fever and I tried everything to get her to take the medicine while punkin was at work. I tried bribes, threats, treats, she just screamed and spit at me. her temperature kept rising and i was now wearing a couple of doses of pink goo. running out of options - into the tub she went into nice, tepid water. yep, she got to cool off both ways. and she did not like it, but we've never had another discussion about taking one's meds either. :shrug:
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Re: kids 2!

Postby kg » 11 Sep 2014, 18:14


Yep! "It's either that, or...." :yikes:

Settles a lot of "wild injuns" down, doesn't it? :lol:
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Re: kids 2!

Postby Ice.Maiden » 11 Sep 2014, 19:55

:P

Kids always have their "moments", whatever their ages, but this Terrible 2's thing just didn't seem to apply in our case. If anything, I'd say it was when they hit somewhere between 8 or 9, thinking they were grown-up and knew it all.
:shock:

Their tantrums and sulks were short-lived though, since they prevoked no reaction. :cool2:
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Re: kids 2!

Postby kg » 12 Sep 2014, 13:24


And therein, I think, lies the answer. I've heard (and witnessed) many "terrible twos" actions and reactions in children of that age, and I've heard and witnessed as many others in which there was a minimal amount of misbehaviour. I believe that most of the behaviours (or lack thereof) are the result of the parent's reaction to it. Your very last statement bears witness..."Their tantrums and sulks were short-lived though, since they prevoked no reaction."

Child or adult, most statements and/or actions are designed to elicit a reaction. An improper response, or an expectation of such behaviour as "acting their age," gives rise to continuation of the expected behaviour. On the other hand, a proper response, or as in your case, a lack of response, will send them scrambling for another method with which to gain your attention. This, in turn, allows you license to "respond" to desired behaviour -- the type of behaviour you wish the child to engage in.

It often amazes me that so many people don't realize this. It can be a trial, especially when the misbehaviour can be so irritating, but maintaining proper responses can be rewarding in the end.
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Re: kids 2!

Postby Tomsk » 12 Sep 2014, 14:32

Hi KG! long time..

off home now all...night!
x
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Re: kids 2!

Postby pilvikki » 12 Sep 2014, 15:27


bye tomasina!

I used to put on a huge yawn just to show how totally unimpressed I was. :lol:

today saxon had been reprimanded in class and he didn't do anything! the teacher took away a rubber bracelet he was fiddling with - and omgs the drama!

when I got tired of his defending his questionable honour (he doth protheth too much, I mentioned that I had to have x-rays of my whole spine.

and we're done! he latched onto the mysteries of the body like a lamprey to a pike.

:lol:
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Re: kids 2!

Postby Ice.Maiden » 12 Sep 2014, 15:28

I've found that it works Glenn - and yes, nice to read you, by the way.

I'm not the sort of person who has to let my temper fray and start screaming at the children, and like you, I've witnessed that happen, and as you rightly point out, it just escalates in some other way.

Staying calm seems to work, even if your brain's frazzling underneath!

I never expected my children not to have moods. They all do, but they weren't controlled by aggressive responses from myself or their father. If a tantrum happened, we'd wait until the angst'd settled, then have a quiet word if necessary, but I believe it's HOW and WHAT you say that brings results, even if they aren't immediate. Talking's of the essence, and allows children to express their own opinions as they get older, as opposed to ordering them about and expecting immediate compliance.

By ignoring the sulks, etc., the children soon realised that their behaviour wasn't getting them anywhere, and when we said "no" to something, we meant it, although we'd explain why the negative answer was in order.

We've brought ours up without beating or threatening them, and though I say it myself, we have two fine young men right now, who're respectful, well mannered and a pleasure to take anywhere - but since they're still in their teens, we MIGHT'VE had problems with the typical "teenage tantrums" even though we missed out on the Terrible 2's - but we haven't. We give them enough scope that they can enjoy themselves without needing to break any house rules, but there're unwritten ones which we just have to hope they adhere to. When out eldest started staying out at friends parties, we said - no drugs, no getting off your face on alcohol and making yourself ill, blah blah. Well he doesn't even touch a cigarette. He finds smoking a repulsive habit, but'll have a drink in moderation. We allowed a glass of wine with meals, but he doesn't really like it, and I can say almost 100% that because he's into fitness, he doesn't indulge in anything we've asked him not to, other than the occasional beer or cider when he's out. Neither of the boys're too-good-to-be-true types though. They're proper young men, but have their heads screwed on.

Going back to the younger ones, I think we all think that our own ways of dealing with these outbursts're the right ones, but from all that I've seen so far, I really believe that if you react out of hand, the child's won before you start. Then you've made a rod for your own back.

Oh - and goodnight T.
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