Housing

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Re: Housing

Postby Ice.Maiden » 10 Sep 2014, 16:46

:shock: Did I drift?
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Re: Housing

Postby Kellemora » 11 Sep 2014, 11:53

Hi Icey

I sent each of my foster kids greeting cards on the holidays and their birthdays, and included a letter in the envelope the first five or so years. I never received a card or letter back from them, except Roy called me on the phone often the first couple of months after he was home and got the house, then slowed down, so by the end of the year, he only called once at Christmas.

My two step-children, Ruth's kids, after her boy graduated and moved to Detroit, we only heard from him two or three times. His sister called him about once a month, then let her mother know how he was doing.
After Ruth passed away, her daughter still lived with me, and was a great help in getting all of Ruth's things to her relatives. She was still living with us for a short time after I married Debi. She had just graduated and landed an excellent job herself. Her relatives are who hounded her to get an apartment near where she worked, and leave us newlyweds alone. She was no bother, and we liked having her around.
She didn't move out overnight. She found an apartment and only moved a few necessary things at first. Came home every weekend, and we bundled up her brothers things to ship to him in Detroit. Then little by little, she moved the rest of her things, a few boxes every weekend until all was gone.
We took her out to dinner for her birthday, and afterward she took us to see her apartment. Fancy place, more than I could ever afford, but she made triple the amount of money I did, and she was just out of school. Some of the jobs she did paid over 300 bucks an hour, although they were far and few between at that scale.
She had to go somewhere outstate on a contract job, and was gone for over two months. She called once to ask me to go by her apartment to make sure everything was OK there. I did and called her back to let her know it was undisturbed. She called while I was at work to let Debi know she was back, but would be swamped for the next several months. We never heard from her again, however, she did call my mother about four or five times over the next year or so, and once at Christmas before mom passed away.

The one and only time I heard from Ruth's boy was the day Debi and I were moving south, and it was only a recorded message wanting to know his sisters new phone number, which I didn't have. I tried calling back, but he had called from an office phone and wasn't there, gone home for the day. I tried the next day, and missed him again, but got his voicemail and left him a message. That was the last communication with him.

I continued to send cards until they began coming back as undeliverable. I assume previous cards were forwarded to their new address by the post office for a full year before they started coming back.

I rarely hear from my own daughter, but my son calls once a week like clockwork now. After going several years without calling at all. So things are looking up, a little, hi hi...
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Re: Housing

Postby Ice.Maiden » 11 Sep 2014, 16:05

OK - well that's a good start. I'm glad that your son's back in touch again. Sorry about your daughter though. Maybe if your son knows where she is and has contact, he could pass on a message that you still think and care about her.

Blood's thicker than water, and whatever the reasons for your daughter isolating herself from you, I'm sure that you both have times when you wish things could be different. Best of luck with it all. I think families're important.
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Re: Housing

Postby Kellemora » 12 Sep 2014, 11:49

My son does talk to her, but only when necessary, or to keep track of what she's doing.
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Re: Housing

Postby Ice.Maiden » 12 Sep 2014, 14:51

Well it's something. Must be awful for parents when their offspring seem to vanish, and you don't know what they're doing or where they are. It'd drive me mad if that happened with one of ours.
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Re: Housing

Postby Kellemora » 13 Sep 2014, 12:09

Whether your own, or raised as your own, it still hurts more than words can describe.
Dreams of enjoying their life with them, and seeing or playing with their kids as they grow up, all shattered.
Nuff said.
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Re: Housing

Postby pilvikki » 13 Sep 2014, 15:36

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Re: Housing

Postby Ice.Maiden » 13 Sep 2014, 16:50

Well posted, Vikki. Sometimes pictures speak louder than words, although I hear what Gary's saying.
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